Feedback Mastery

# Feedback Conversations

## Overview

This skill provides frameworks for navigating difficult workplace conversations and delivering effective feedback. Whether you're addressing performance issues, resolving conflicts, or giving constructive feedback, these structured approaches lead to better outcomes.

**Core insight:** Research shows that employees who approach difficult conversations with preparation and a clear framework are **60% more likely to reach a positive resolution** than those who engage without a plan.

## When to Use This Skill

Use this skill when:

- Preparing to give feedback to a colleague or direct report
- Addressing performance issues or missed expectations
- Navigating conflict between team members
- Having 1:1 conversations about sensitive topics
- Receiving feedback and wanting to respond constructively
- Managing expectations with stakeholders

**Keywords**: feedback, difficult conversation, 1:1, one-on-one, performance, conflict, expectations, behavior, confrontation

## Core Frameworks

### The Preparation-Delivery-Follow-up Model

A three-part structure for difficult conversations:

| Phase | Focus | Key Questions |
| --- | --- | --- |
| **Preparation** | Understand the issue, define goals, manage emotions | What's the problem? What outcome do I want? Am I calm? |
| **Delivery** | Open neutrally, use facts not blame, encourage dialogue | How do I start? What evidence do I have? How do I involve them? |
| **Follow-up** | Document actions, set check-ins, provide support | What did we agree to? When will we check in? How do I support? |

### The SBI Feedback Model

**Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI)** structures feedback to be specific, objective, and actionable:

| Component | Description | Example |
| --- | --- | --- |
| **Situation** | Describe the specific context | "During yesterday's code review..." |
| **Behavior** | State the observable action (not interpretation) | "...you interrupted Sarah three times while she was explaining her approach..." |
| **Impact** | Explain the effect on team/project/person | "...which made her hesitate to share ideas and slowed down our discussion." |

**Why it works:** SBI removes assumptions and focuses on observable facts, reducing defensiveness.

## Preparation Phase

### Step 1: Understand the Issue

Ask yourself:

- **What exactly is the problem?** (Be specific, not vague)
- **How does it impact the team, project, or company?**
- **Have I gathered all relevant facts?**
- **Is this a pattern or a one-time event?**

### Step 2: Define Your Goals

Before the conversation, clarify what you're seeking:

| Goal Type | Example |
| --- | --- |
| Behavior change | "I want them to submit code reviews on time" |
| Mutual understanding | "I want to understand what's blocking them" |
| Expectation setting | "I want to clarify what 'done' means for features" |
| Problem solving | "I want to find a solution together" |

**Tip:** Use if-then statements to clarify stakes:
> "If this behavior continues, then the project timeline will suffer, leading to missed deliverables."

### Step 3: Manage Your Emotions

High emotional intensity reduces cognitive processing by 30%. Before the conversation:

- [ ] Am I calm and in control?
- [ ] Have I separated facts from personal frustrations?
- [ ] Have I considered their perspective?
- [ ] Can I present this without accusation?

**Reframing technique:**

| Accusatory | Constructive |
| --- | --- |
| "You always miss deadlines and it slows everyone down" | "I've noticed some recent delays and want to understand any challenges you're facing" |
| "You never test your code proper